Don’t Laugh

Two little boys, ages 8 and 10, are excessively mischievous.

They are always getting into trouble and their parents know all about it. If
any mischief occurs in their town,

the two boys are probably involved.

The boys’ mother heard that a preacher in town had been successful in
disciplining children,

so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The preacher agreed, but he
asked to see them individually.

So the mother sent the 8 year old first, in the morning, with the older boy
to see the preacher in the afternoon.

The preacher, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the younger boy down and
asked him sternly,
“Do you know where God is, son?”
The boy’s mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there wide-
eyed with his mouth hanging open.
So the preacher repeated the question in an even sterner tone, “Where is
God?!”

Again, the boy made no attempt to answer. The preacher raised his voice even
more and shook his finger in the boy’s face and bellowed,

“Where is God?!”
The boy screamed and bolted from the room, ran directly home and dove into
his closet, slamming the door behind him.

When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, “what happened?”
The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, “We are in BIG trouble this
time.

GOD is missing, and they think we did it!

They trained them for months. Then when they thought they were ready, they placed all three in the shuttle and got ready to send them up into space.

As the moment came closer NASA’s mission control center announced, “This is mission control to Monkey One. Initiate!”

At that the first monkey started typing like mad and suddenly the shuttle’s engines ignited and the shuttle took off.

Two hours later NASA’s mission control center announced, “This is mission control to Monkey Two. Initiate!”

At that the second monkey started typing like mad and suddenly the shuttle separated from the empty fuel tanks.

Another two hours later mission control announced, “This is mission control to the astronaut…”

At this the astronaut responded “I know, I know. Feed the monkeys and don’t touch anything.”

Dear Sweetheart:

I can’t send my salary this month, so I am sending 100 kisses. You are my sweetheart Your husband Joe His wife replied back after some days to her husband: Dearest sweetheart, Thanks for your 100 kisses, I am sending the expenses details. 1. The Milk man agreed on 2 kisses for one month’s milk. 2. The electricity man only agreed after 7 kisses. 3. Your house owner is coming every day and taking two or three kisses instead of the rent. 4. Supermarket owner did not accept kisses only, so I have given him some other items……….. 5. Other expenses 40 kisses Please don’t worry for me, I have a remaining balance of 35 kisses and I hope I can complete the month using this balance. Shall I plan same way for next months, Please Advise!!! Your Sweet Heart Amanda

One day a sardarji was sitting in his office on The
thirteenth floor building when a man came running in to his office and
shouted “Santa singh  your daughter Preeto just died in an accident”
Sardarji was in panic. Not  knowing what to do he jumped from his office window.
While coming down when he was near the tenth floor he remembered he didn’t
have a daughter named Preeto. When he was near the fifth floor he remembered
he was not married.When he was about to hit the ground he
remembered he was not Santa Singh.

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Sardar was walking along, when he looked up to observe
a bird flying overhead. Suddenly, the bird dropped a load when it
was directly over him.  The Sardar says, “Good thing that cows don’t fly.”
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Sardar is in a bar and his cellular phone rings, so he
picks it up and says ” Hello, how did you know I was here?”

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Why are sardar secret agents the best in the world?
Because even under torture they can’t remember what they have been
assigned to.
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Did you hear about the sardar who signed all his
checks so no one else could use them if he
lost his checkbook?

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A sardar’s response to the comment, “THINK about it!”:
“I don’t have to think-I ‘m sardar! ”

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Sardarji ( to doctor ) : ‘Doctor, I have a problem.’
Doctor : ‘What’s your problem?
‘ Sardarji : ‘I keep forgetting things.’
Doctor : ‘Since when do
you have this problem?’ Sardarji : ‘What problem?’

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Why couldn’t the sardar write the number “eleven”? He
didn’t know which “one” (1) came first…

♥♥♥TajMahal♥♥♥!
TAJ ke saath in shayeron ka andaaz hee kuch aur hai.
♠♠♠Before Marrige♠♠♠
———————–
takdir hai magar kismat nahi khulti
tajmahal banana chahata hoon
lekin mumtaz nahi milti

███An Ode to All Devdas███
———————————
takdir hai magar kismat nahi khulti
tajmahal banan chahata hoon,
aji, mumtaz mil gayi hai magar
woh shaadi nahi karti

♥♥♥After Marriage♥♥♥
———————-
takdir hai magar kismat nahi khulti
tajmahal banana chahata hoon
lekin mumtaz nahi marti
..well wishes frm……(PRADEEP)!!!!

A man who had died suddenly in his sleep awakened to find himself in heaven. Being disoriented but curious, he began to walk around taking in the wondrous sights. he marveled at the pearly gates, as well as the streets paved with gold. After a while he felt hungry and asked one of the other occupants where he might find something to eat and was directed to the cafeteria. When he arrived he found a line a mile long and took his place at the end. The line was progressing very slowly when a limo pulled up in front and discharged a man with a great beard and carrying two stone tablets who went in ahead of everyone else. The fellow became angry and tapped the person in front of him on the shoulder and asked who is that? The person in front of him replied that it was Moses the bringer of law. This satisfied the fellow for the present.

A short while later another limo pulled up and discharged a fellow wearing robes and carrying a staff who also went in ahead of the rest. The fellow again was irritated and asked the person in front of him who that arrival was, and was told that it was St. Jerome a patriarch and very important! This also satisfied the fellow for a short time.

After a time a sports car pulled up in front and a man carrying a black bag went in ahead of the rest, which infuriated the poor fellow who asked in exasperation, just who the hell is that? This time the line answered in unison, “Oh, that’s God, but he thinks he is a doctor!”

A lady walked into a drugstore and told the pharmacist she needed some cyanide right away. The pharmacist naturally was concerned by such a request and asked, “Why in the world do you need cyanide?”

The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, “Well, now. You didn’t tell me you had a prescription.”