Cyanide Request
A lady walked into a drugstore and told the pharmacist she needed some cyanide right away. The pharmacist naturally was concerned by such a request and asked, “Why in the world do you need cyanide?”
The lady then explained that she needed it to poison her husband. The pharmacist’s eyes got big and he said, “I can’t give you cyanide to kill your husband! That’s against the law! I’ll lose my license. They’ll throw both of us in jail and all kinds of bad things will happen! Absolutely not—you cannot have any cyanide!”
The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist’s wife.
The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, “Well, now. You didn’t tell me you had a prescription.”
October 2nd, 2006 at 2:30 am
PROFESSOR
Gandhi Jayanti ke baray mein kya jantey ho?
MUNNA BHAI
Gandhi bahut jabardast aadmi tha, Baap. Maa Kasam,
par apun ko yeh nehin malum ke yeh Jayanti kaun hai.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
CIRCUIT
Bhai, Bapu ne bola tha ke kabhi jhoot nehin bolna mangta hai.
Apun aaj se kabhi jhoot nehin bolega Bhai.
MUNNA BHAI
Aye Circuit, woh Sunita ka baap aya hai terayko dund rehla hai.
CIRCUIT
Bhai usko bolo apun gaon gaya hai, kheti karneko.
MUNNA BHAI
Par Circuit, abhi to tu bola kabhi jhoot nehin bolega.
CIRCUIT
Bhai, apun jhoot nehin bolega, par tum to bol sakta hai na.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
MAMU
Chand toh raat ko nikalta hai,
aaj din mein kaise nikal aya?
GIRL
Ullu to raat ko bolta hai,
aaj din mein kaise bol pada?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
CIRCUIT
Bhai, woh apnay bachpan ka dost aarehla aaj raat ko dinner pe.
Mera sara chain collection apnay kamray mein chupa do na please.
MUNNABHAI
Kyun tera dost chor hai kya?
CIRCUIT
Nehin Bhai, woh apnay chain pechan lega.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
MAMU
Bhai, apnay ko char mahinay mein Tamil sikhna padega. Kuch upay batao.
MUNNA BHAI
Tamil kyun, aur char mahinay ka kya chakkar hai?
MAMU
Meinay ek Tamil baccha adopt kiya hai, aur woh char mahinay mein bolne
lagay ga.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
PROFESSOR
Akal badi ki bhais?
MUNNA BHAI
Bole toh pehlay date of birth bata mamu.
MUNNA BHAI
Circuit, bole toh yeh Ford kya hai?
CIRCUIT
Bhai, gaadi hai.
MUNNA BHAI
Toh phir, yeh Oxford kya hai?
CIRCUIT
Bole toh, simple hai bhai, Ox mane Bael, Ford mane gaadi. Oxford bole toh
Baelgaadi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
CIRCUIT
Aye Mamu, tereko papad aur jhapad mein pharak pata hai kya?
MAMU
Nehin.
CIRCUIT
To kha ke dekh le, pata chal jayega.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
MUNNA BHAI
Mamu, apun bachpan mein dus maley ke building se gir gaya tha.
MAMU
Aarey, phir kya hua. Bach gaya ki tapak gaya ?
MUNNA BHAI
Yaad nehin hai yaar. Bahut purane baat hai.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
MUNNA BHAI
Mamu, tu kitna pada hai?
MAMU
B.A.
MUNNA BHAI
Sala, two akshar pada aur woh bhi ulta?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
MAMU
Oye, maar gayay yaar. Meri biwi aur premika saath saath aa rehla hai.
MAMU KA DOST
Arrey, mein bhi yehi bolnewala tha.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
CIRCUIT
Oye Short Circuit yeh light bulb pe baap ka naam kya likh raha hai?
SHORT CIRCUIT
Apun baap ka naam roshan kar rehle hai.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
PRINCIPAL
Agar koi ladka girls hostel mein gaya toh first time 100 Rs fine, 2nd time
200 Rs. Fine and 3rd time 500.
MUNNA BHAI
Monthly paas ka kya lega Mamu