Don’t Laugh

Raghupati raghav
raja ram

aisa var dena
Bhagwan,

subah ko uthke jo
chai banaye,
chai banakar
mujhe uthaye phir
kahe ise peeo
meri jaan

aisa var dena
Bhagwan !

Dopahr ko jab wo
break mein aaye,
aake jaldi se lunch
banaye, phir kahe
ise chakho meri
jaan

aisa war dena
Bhagwan !

Sham ko jab wo
office se aaye,
sare din ki kmai
pakraye, phir kahe
ise urao meri
jaan ….

Between the ages of 15 - 20 a woman is like Africa.
She is half discovered, half wild.

Between the ages of 20 - 30 a woman is like America .
Fully discovered and scientifically perfect.

Between the ages of 30 - 35, she is like India & Japan .
Very hot, wise and beautiful !

Between the ages of 35 - 40 a woman is like France.
She is half destroyed after the war but still desirable.

Between the ages of 40 - 50 she is like Germany.
She lost the war but not the hope.

Between the ages of 50 - 60 she is like Russia .
Very wide, very quiet but nobody goes there.

Between the ages of 60 - 70 a woman is like England.
With a glorious past but no future.

After 70, they become Siberia .
Everyone knows where it is, but no one wants to go there.

They say that when a man holds a woman’s hand before marriage, it is love; after marriage… it is self-defense!
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Its difficult 2 understand GOD. He makes such beautiful things as women..and then he turns them into Wives !?!!!?!
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What is the difference between a woman and a magnet? Magnets have a positive side!
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It’s funny when people discuss LOVE MARRIAGE vs ARRANGED.
It’s like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered
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A person who surrenders when he’s WRONG, is HONEST.
A person who SURRENDERS when not SURE, is WISE.
A person who surrenders even if he’s RIGHT, is a HUSBAND.!
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Sagaai hui… Shaadi Hui… Biwi ghar main aayi…
ghar SWARG ban gaya… aur main…SWARGWASI…
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Mayawati came to Lallu’s house with a goat.
Lallu: Bhaiswa ko kyon layi ho?
Maya: Dikhta nahin goatwa hai?
Lallu: Hum goatwa se hi to pooch raha hoon.

A project manager, a computer programmer and a computer operator are driving down the road when the car they are in gets a flat tire. The three men try to solve the problem.The project manager said: “Let’s catch a cab and in ten minutes we’ll reach our destination.”

The computer programmer said: “We have here the driver’s guide. I can easily replace the flat tire and continue our drive.”

The computer operator said: “First of all, let’s turn off the engine and turn it on again. Maybe it will fix the problem.”

Suddenly a Microsoft software engineer passed by and said: “Try to close all windows, get off the car, and then get in and try again.”

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Q: Why do programmers always get Christmas and Halloween mixed up?
A: Because DEC 25 = OCT 31

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Q: How do you keep a programmer in the shower all day?
A: Give him a bottle of shampoo which says “lather, rinse, repeat.”

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A system programmer came home from work almost at dawn and told his wife enthusiastically: “Tonight I have installed a new release of MVS/ESA together with VM/CMS and CICS/VS”.
“G.O.O.D” answered his wife.

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The Programmers’ Cheer

Shift to the left, shift to the right!
Pop up, push down, byte, byte, byte!

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“Have you heard about the object-oriented way to become wealthy?”
“No…”
“Inheritance.”

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If you can touch it and you can see it, it’s REAL.
If you can touch it but you can’t see it, it’s TRANSPARENT.
If you can’t touch it but you can see it, it’s VIRTUAL.
If you can’t touch it and you can’t see it, it’s GONE.

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Once a programmer drowned in the sea. Many Marines where at that time on the beach, but the programmer was shouting “F1 F1″ and nobody understood it.

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The most important thing in the programming language is the name. A language will not succeed without a good name. I have recently invented a very good name and now I am looking for a suitable language.

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Q: Why all Pascal programmers ask to live in Atlantis?
A: Because it is below C level.

Q: What is an example of a never halting program?
A: Friedrichs and Magnus in front of an open elevator, each saying “you go first”.

READ ON…………

1) New York City has 11 letters
2) Afghanistan has 11 letters.
3) Ramsin Yuseb (The terrorist who threatened to destroy the Twin
Towers in 1993) has 11 letters.
4) George W Bush has 11 letters.

This could be a mere coincidence, but this gets more interesting:
1) New York is the 11th state.
2) The first plane crashing against the Twin Towers was flight number
11.
3) Flight 11 was carrying 92 passengers. 9 + 2 = 11
4) Flight 77 which also hit Twin Towers was carrying 65 passengers. 6+5
= 11
5) The tragedy was on September 11, or 9/11 as it is now known. 9 + 1+
1 = 11
6) The date is equal to the US emergency services telephone number 911.
9+1 + 1 = 11

Sheer coincidence. .?! Read on and make up your own mind:
1) The total number of victims inside all the hi-jacked planes was 254.
2+5 + 4 = 11.
2) September 11 is day number 254 of the calendar year. Again 2 + 5 + 4
=11.
3) The Madrid bombing took place on 3/11/2004. 3 + 1 + 1 + 2 + 4 = 11.
4) The tragedy of Madrid happened 911 days after the Twin Towers
incident.

Now this is where things get totally eerie:
The most recognized symbol for the US, after the Stars & Stripes, is
the Eagle. The following verse is taken from the Quran, the Islamic
holy
book:
“For it is written that a son of Arabia would awaken a fearsome Eagle.
The wrath of the Eagle would be felt throughout the lands of Allah
while some of the people trembled in despair still more rejoiced: for
the
wrath of the Eagle cleansed the lands of Allah and there was peace.”
That verse is number 9.11 of the Quran.

Santaji was going to Chandigarh from pune by a air-india plane.
He was alloted the middle seat of one of the 3-seats array.
But as soon as the santaji got into the plane, he sat on the window side seat which was actually for an old lady.
After some time the old lady came and requested the santaji to leave the side seat.
But the santaji told:”I want to see the view from the window and shall not leave”.
The old lady then complained to the air hostess .
The air hostess came and requested the santaji to leave that seat.
But santaji was adament and did not leave.
Then the air hostess went and told the asst capt.
He also came and requested,but in vain.
Finally the Captain came.He whispered something in the ears of the sardarji,and the santaji immedietly left the side seat and returned to the middle seat. Astonished,the airhostess and the asst. capt. asked the capt afterwards what he told to the sanaji.Capt. told :”nothing.I just told him that only the middle seats will go to Chandigarh.All others will go to Jalandhar.”

Once a bus of elected ministers met with an accident and crashed.
When the search party reached there, they came to know that a farmer had buried
them all. They asked him: “Were none alive among them?”
The farmer replied: “Some were saying that they were alive; but you know
ministers never speak the truth, so I ignored their statements.”